The Story of Seeking Spouse

I woke up in the middle of the night to offer my Tahajjud prayer. Everyone in my family is asleep except my sister on the laptop chatting with some of her friends. I asked her to come pray
Tahajjud with me. She refused saying she has some work to do.

I understood and prayed my Tahajjud prayer. I could feel so much peace in my heart. Tahajjud prayer is my connection with my Lord. He is my best friend and I feel great talking
to Him no matter how cold it is. My Lord coming from the seventh sky to listen to my voice, I would not let my sleep or the cold weather stop me. I know someday I will meet my Lord and I love to meet Him soon Insha’Allah. This is my precious time and I feel relieved telling Him about everything. Tonight I asked my Allah for a pious husband. I know I am not pious myself but I am sure by marrying a man for his religious commitment, I can be very happy and please my Rabb Insha’Allah. I also made du'a for my sister and all my friends that they marry a righteous man.

After I was done with my prayer, my sister stood near my door and began staring at me constantly. I felt uneasy and asked her if she needed anything. She nodded and said, "What Du'a did you make?". I didn't say anything. I felt silent.

She kept insisting on me until I gave up! I felt very shy and asked her what kind of a spouse she would want to marry. She thought for a while and said, "I know who I want to marry! Hmm. He will be very handsome. Let's see. Blue eyes, curly hairs, tall…"

"Wait! Stop right there!" I said. "I get it now. You want to marry a good looking guy right?"

"Yeap!", my sister shook her head. I advised her to marry a man who is righteous and not for his looks. She ignored me and said, "Yeah! Yeah! Good looking guys are the best". I said, "The person with a good heart is more beautiful than a good looking man for the beauty fades when one reaches old age."

In a few years time, all of us friends got married. I preferred a pious man who has fear of Allah in his heart. The rest of my sisters married according to their preferences (money, beauty, status).

Allah's Messenger (s.a.w.s.) said: "If there comes to you one with whose religion and attitude you are satisfied, then give your daughter to him in marriage, for if you do not do so, fitnah and mischief will become widespread on earth."

A year after my marriage, I was so busy with my life; however I wished all my friends the best in life. All were happy MashaAllah.

A few months later, I received a phone call from my best friend, Farah. She cried over the phone and I didn't know what to do. I asked my husband and then drove my car to her house. She, Rafia, and Sarah were all there. They all just kept going on and about how unfaithful, arrogant, and ill-mannered their husbands were to them. I went into the kitchen and made some lemonade. I asked my sisters to first calm down. I thought for a while. I told them to be patient in this time of calamity.

Next, I reminded them about a Hadith of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam):

"A woman came to ask the Prophet (Sall Allahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, 'Do you have a husband?' She said, 'Yes.' He asked her, 'How are you with him?' She said, 'I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me.' He said, 'Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and Hell.'" (Ahmad and Nasaa'i)

I then said,

"O my dear sisters, I know you are all going through a lot right now. This is indeed a calamity upon you. Know that Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala tests only those He love. In this time of grief, turn to Him. You are never too late for anything. Allah loves you all so much. Make Repentance and seek His help. Give lots of charity and make lots of Du'as for yourselves as well as your husbands. Remember after every hardship comes ease. Do not talk about your husbands in front of others. Be thankful to them for whatever they are doing for you. If they behave in a rude manner, then remind them of Allah. Help them in their Deen and leave the rest to Allah Subhana Wa Ta'ala. If you feel you need to talk, I am here for you. Now wipe your tears, smile and have hope in Allah's Mercy. May Allah Subhana wa Ta''ala make it easy on you all Ameen."



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